When Tragedy Strikes

A word for the one whose world has just fallen in

The phone rings. The police are at the door. The hospital calls in the night. Someone you love is gone.

And it feels like the ground has given way.

If that is where you are, this is for you. I am not here to tidy it up. I am not here to give you a speech. I just want to sit with you and open the Word of God.

You are not the only one

Tragedy is not only a day the whole world remembers, like 11 September 2001. Most of the blows that flatten a life never make the news.

• A parent dies suddenly, at home or away.
• A child is killed on the road.
• A husband or wife collapses at work.
• A baby is stillborn, or dies in the cot.
• A boat or a small plane does not come back.
• A house fire insident.
• A workplace accident.
• Cancer found late, it’s just weeks, not years.
• Suicide. Murder. An overdose.

If your story is not on that list, it still counts. The Lord does not measure tears by headlines.

You do not have to pretend

People mean well. They say, “Everything happens for a reason.” They say, “They are in a better place.” They say, “God needed another angel.”

You do not have to swallow that. The Bible never asks you to paint a smile over a broken heart. You may be angry. You may be numb. You may have no words at all. That is all right.

This was not because you were worse

They came to Jesus one day with the news. Some men had been killed while they were worshipping. Then a tower in Siloam fell and eighteen people died. Folks were sure those people must have been worse sinners than everybody else.

Jesus said no.

“Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.”
— Luke 13:4–5 (NKJV)

Do you see it in this verse? The Lord would not let them turn a tragedy into a scorecard. Sudden death is not always God pointing at you. We live in a fallen world. Hearts stop. Roads kill. Wicked men do wicked things. Bodies wear out.

God made it good. Man turned from Him. Sin came in, and death followed. That is Genesis 3. That is Romans 5:12. God is not the author of evil. Why! This particular blow hit your house; I do not know. The Lord has not told us every “why.” He has told us who He is.

God has come near

The Bible does not give you a distant God.

“He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”
— Isaiah 53:3 (NKJV)

Man of Sorrows does not mean Jesus was humourless, stern, gloomy, or sullen. It means He knows the havoc sin brings. So He is able, as the Man of Sorrows, to comfort those who are in deep sorrow.

“Jesus wept.”
— John 11:35 (NKJV)

Jesus wept. This was not hopeless grief. In verse 33 Mary and the others are weeping, and Jesus already knows what He will do. He raises Lazarus in a few minutes. Even so, their sorrow moves Him to tears.

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

When the Word says “the Lord is near,” it is meant to comfort the broken-hearted. He does not stand off at a distance. He comes close to the one whose heart is smashed, and He saves the one who comes to Him with a contrite spirit.

Jesus stood at a grave, and He cried. That is your Lord. He knows the empty chair; He knows the empty house; He knows the long night. He is not watching you from far away.

Anger, guilt, fear, and loneliness

Anger may come. At a driver. At a doctor. At yourself. Even at God. Tell Him. He can handle the truth. Spoken anger is safer than bitterness that goes underground.

Guilt will talk. “If only I had called.” “If only I had been there.” My friend, you were never meant to hold the whole world in your hands.

Fear will ask, “Who is next?” I was brought up with the term “everything comes in threes.” That is a human question. Do the next simple thing. Eat a little. Rest if you can. Let someone sit with you.

Loneliness is the quiet after the funeral. You do not have to walk that room by yourself. Let people stay. And if the darkness turns toward taking your own life, tell someone now and get help. In the UK you can call Samaritans on 116 123.

There is hope beyond this night

Jesus told the truth about this world, and then He gave you something better than the world.

“In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
— John 16:33 (NKJV)

Tribulation means pressure ~ affliction, distress, the squeeze of a broken world. “Be of good cheer” means take heart. Take courage. Jesus has overcome the world. When you trust Him, He can give peace in the middle of the pressure.

He never said you would sail through life without a storm. He said the storm would not have the last word. He died for our sin. He rose from the dead.

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain.”
— Revelation 21:4 (NKJV)

One day God will do what no funeral, no doctor, and no kind word can do. He will wipe away every tear. In the New Jerusalem there will be no more death, no more sorrow, no more crying, and no more pain. That is Genesis 3 turned back the other way. The curse ends. Revelation 7:16 says the same world another way: no more hunger, no more thirst, no more scorching heat. That is eternity for those who are the Lord’s.

The grave is not a wall. It is a door. The Word is honest about that door: “It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27). That is why Jesus said, “Repent.” And then the gospel comes in like light: “Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Romans 10:13).

If you want to come to Him

You do not need to get yourself cleaned up first. Come angry. Come empty. Come unsure.

Tell Him you have sinned. Tell Him you cannot carry this. Ask Jesus Christ to forgive you, to save you, and to walk with you through the valley. That is not a formula. That is calling on a Person.

If you are not ready, you may still sit here. Keep reading. Keep asking. Keep breathing. He is patient.

A prayer you may use

Whisper it. Or say nothing, and let the groan be the prayer. He hears.

“Lord Jesus, this hurts more than I can say. You wept at a tomb. I do not understand this. Draw near to me. Comfort me. Keep me from bitterness. If You are who the Word says You are, meet me in this darkness and save me. Amen.”

If you already belong to Christ

I have been talking first to the one who does not yet know the Lord. But you may already belong to Him, and you are still on the floor. Being born again does not mean you stop being human.

Jesus wept. The psalms teach you how to lament. You may cry. You may ask “why?” You may sit before the Lord with no speech left. That is not unbelief. That is a child in the dark reaching for Father.

“But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”
— 1 Thessalonians 4:13–14 (NKJV)

You will sorrow. You just do not sorrow as those who have no hope, if the one you love died in Christ. If you are not sure where they stood with the Lord, leave them in His mercy. You are not the Judge. And you do not have to pretend the tears are not real.

Stay with what you know, God is good ~ God is near. For those who are in Christ, the grave is not the end, just let the body of Christ carry you. Read one psalm like Psalm 23; 34:18; 46:1. Pray one honest sentence. Eat the next meal. That is faith on a hard day.

If bitterness comes, drag it to the cross. If you feel far from God, tell Him. He has not moved.

A last word

I write from Helensburgh in Scotland, with the Bible open. I have kept the lines short, because grief makes reading hard.

I am sorry. You are a soul the Lord loves.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart.

Peter J Gordon