Well, folks, here we are on Valentine’s Day again. As I was running over Conic Hill last night, thinking about this devotional today, running past the SPAR grocery store in Drymen, the shop is full of hearts and flowers, cards and candy. But let’s take a moment and turn to the Word of God, because that is where we find the real truth about love and we will let the words speak to you.
Now, Valentine’s Day goes back to a man named Valentine, a believer in the early church, probably a pastor or bishop in Rome around the third century. The story is that he was put to death for his faith, maybe because he was marrying young Christian couples when the emperor said no more marriages for soldiers, or just because he wouldn’t stop preaching Christ. The church remembered him on February 14th as a martyr who stood faithful to the Lord even when it cost him his life.
Later, the church made it an official day of honour for him. There’s some talk about old Roman festivals around that time of year, but the heart of it is a brother in Christ who loved the Lord enough to die for Him. That’s worth remembering.
But today, it’s mostly about romantic love, sweethearts, dates, and proposals. All that is fine, as long as we see it in the light of what God says. The Bible has a lot to say about love, marriage, and even about being single. Let’s look at it simply, straight from the Scriptures.
First, marriage is God’s good idea from the beginning. In Genesis 2:24 it says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” That’s the foundation, one man, one woman, in a lifelong commitment. God designed it that way to reflect something beautiful ~ Christ’s love for His church.
The Song of Solomon is a whole book celebrating that love between a husband and wife. It’s poetic, yes, but it’s real, full of affection, admiration, and the joy of coming together in marriage. Early on, it seems to picture Solomon and his beloved bride, before all the troubles later in his life. Listen to this: “You have ravished my heart, My sister, my spouse; You have ravished my heart With one look of your eyes… How fair is your love, My sister, my spouse!” (Song of Solomon 4:9-10). And Proverbs adds, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Or this one: “Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth… And always be enraptured with her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19).
In the New Testament, Paul tells husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). That’s sacrificial love, giving yourself for her good, no bitterness, no holding back. Marriage isn’t perfect because we’re not perfect, but when it’s built on Christ, it’s a blessing.
Now, what about those who aren’t married? Maybe you’re single, or widowed, or you’ve been through a divorce, and the pain is still there. Valentine’s Day can feel hard for you.
But listen, singleness isn’t a curse. The apostle Paul, who was single himself, said it’s actually good in many ways. In 1 Corinthians 7 he writes, “It is good for them if they remain even as I am” in verse 8, talking to the unmarried and widows. Why? Because “He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord… that you may serve the Lord without distraction” see verses 32-35. Paul saw singleness as a gift from God that lets you focus fully on the Lord, no divided heart.
Jesus was single. Paul was single. Many faithful servants have been single. And God doesn’t leave you alone in it. He says, “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed” Deuteronomy 31:8. Or Psalm 68:6: “God sets the solitary in families.” He puts the lonely in the family of God, the church. And in Isaiah 54:5, to the one feeling desolate: “For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name.” That’s tender, God Himself steps in as your companion.
But the greatest love isn’t the romantic kind. It’s God’s love for us. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” John 3:16.
He loved us first, when we didn’t deserve it. Nothing can separate us from it: “neither death nor life… nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 8:38-39. And “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him” 1 John 4:16.
So on this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re married and rejoicing in your wife or husband, or single and trusting the Lord in your season, remember this ~ the cross is the greatest expression of love ever. Jesus gave His life for you. That’s love that never fails.
May the Lord fill your heart with His love today, everlasting, unchanging and perfect.
Comment(1)
James Wesley says:
February 15, 2026 at 7:58 pmNot quite sure by what you mean about the “real truth about love.” The desire for romantic love is a normal part of being human. It’s not something that the human “world” or “culture” or Valentine’s Day brainwashed me into wanting. Then again, if you simply mean the real truth about the story of Valentine’s Day, yeah, I get your point.
Like you said, marriage was God’s original plan. The first marriage happened in Paradise, when the world was perfect, and while Adam had a perfect, sinless relationship with God. Isn’t that interesting? In other words it wasn’t a lack of “God being enough” that made Him create Eve and put them together. God looked at Adam and said it wasn’t good for man to be alone.
Wait! You mean even when he was totally with God, Adam still needed someone else? Whoops.
Of course, then what happened? Mankind rebelled, sin entered the world, and everything has been screwed up ever since. People say things like “singleness isn’t a curse,” but, in a way, it is, I think. In Matthew 19, Jesus talks about people who don’t marry, and he mentions a few different types: people who CHOOSE to live that way, people who are made that way by God, and people who are made that way by “other men.” So some people are single, and it’s not because they chose it OR because it “God’s plan.” It’s just how life turned out in a bad world, where bad things happen, and life doesn’t always go our way.
For example, I’ve often read that there’s more Christian women in the world than there are Christian men. If that’s broadly accurate, it means that not everyone will be able to marry, even if they have passionate desires for it. or say you’re a young, new believer in a part of the world where you can’t really practice your faith openly. In that case, it’s going to be difficult to even find other Christians to marry in the first place.
Just because you’re currently single doesn’t mean it’s “God’s plan.” What if I’m currently homeless, or unemployed, or in poverty, or being abused? Are those things “God’s plan” just because they’re currently happening?
Yes, God is good. But we live in a world that is NOT good.
It’s understandable why people want to experience romantic love, and want to experience marriage. Yes, your family loves you…..but it’s not THAT kind of love. Yes, your friends love you….but it’s not THAT kind of love. And yes, Jesus loves you…….but it’s not THAT kind of love. In physical terms, sex is the most intimate and special way that someone will bond with you. It’s understandable why people want that. But the Bible restricts that sort of thing to marriage. And even Paul recommends marriage if you have strong desires for that sort of thing. But if you desire that, but miss out on it, whether it’s for a period of time or for your whole life, it can be pretty painful. Because, well, there’s not really any substitute for it.
Interestingly enough, a lot of research (almost all secular) indicates that married people are happier, have more and better sex, make more money, live longer and impact society more. It’s a societal foundation, apparently. Well, then!
Yes, marriage has its challenges. But there’s enjoyable and good things about marriage, too. Enjoyable and good things that, if you’re single, you simply miss out on.
And, yeah, sure, Paul was single. Doesn’t mean I want to be. Paul was also whipped, stone, imprisoned, shipwrecked, etc. Doesn’t mean I want to experience these things. Yeah, sure, Paul says good things about singleness. But he says OTHER things, too. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says that HE wishes that everyone was like him (a single man content with being single), not that God wishes it, and he admits that not everyone is like him. He says he has no commandment from God about this. He says it’s BETTER to marry than to “burn with passion.” He “supposes” that it’s better to stay single due to the “present distress,” some crisis that the church in Corinth was going through at the time. He says you’re not sinning by marrying. It seems like Paul though the church was living in the End Times, which may help explain his caution. He says that a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just his own opinion. Evidently many singles are NOT happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4 Paul condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also called marriage a good thing.
Also, when Paul calls singleness a “gift” he seems to be referring to an ability, not the state of being single. I don’t think Paul meant to say that singleness is a “present” that you have to be grateful for, or take advantage of. Paul didn’t write this letter in English, after all. He uses the same Greek word he uses for other spiritual gifts, He even says in 7:9 that these gifts are “from God.” Paul seems to be talking about the calling of lifelong celibacy. Not a “season” of singleness. That’s just how I’ve always understood this. Though I get that many disagree on the interpretation.
“Paul saw singleness as a gift from God that lets you focus fully on the Lord, no divided heart.”
A lot of the time, when you’re single, people tell you to “take advantage” of it because you can apparently “serve more.” A lot of this comes from a certain take on what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do “more ministry” as a single. I don’t think that’s what Paul says here. I mean, if that’s the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage a “distraction” that’s getting in the way of their ministry? Have you EVER met an unmarried pastor? I never have. What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you AREN’T distracted by the desire for marriage, then MAYBE you have the gift of singleness.
And, of course, in English, “distracting” has a negative connotation. But it seems to me that Paul is merely making the elementary observation that marriage, or the search for marriage, can place more demands on your time and attention than the life of a single person who’s truly content with being single. And Paul himself says that not everybody fits into that category of person.
And, yeah, sure, Jesus was single. But even Jesus said that singleness isn’t for everyone. And I’m not Jesus. I’m a normal, ordinary human, with normal human desires for things like romance/marriage/sex. Knowing that Jesus was single doesn’t do anything to make these desires go away. Yes, Jesus was single. Doesn’t mean I want to be. Jesus was also tortured to death. Doesn’t mean I want to be. Besides, Jesus was a divine God. Yes, He was human, but He wasn’t a normal human. Getting married on Earth would have been utterly pointless for Him.
And, yeah, sure, Paul was single. But Paul also said that singleness isn’t for everyone, and made all those caveats I mentioned above.
Yes, I know, God’s love is the greatest of all. His love saves us, and accomplishes things that no other form of human love can accomplish. Knowing these truths, however, doesn’t do anything to make your normal human desires for romantic love, marriage, or sex go away, now, does it? I’ve always liked how, in the Bible, there’s so many different Hebrew and Greek words for the different kinds of love, while in English, we, confusingly, can only over-use one, haha.
If God’s love could actually quench your desire for romantic love, or your desires for marriage or sex……well, then, no Christian would ever bother getting married, now, would they?
Anyway…….rant over, haha.