Introduction

As a Bible teacher in Scotland, I have walked a very painful road through emotional abuse, parental alienation, and struggles with alcohol. My story isn’t easy to share, but I believe God can use it to encourage other men who feel trapped, ashamed, or silenced. In Psalm 82:3-4 calls us to “defend the poor and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and needy.” If you’re a man facing emotional abuse from a spouse or the heartbreak of losing connection with your children, know this: you’re not alone, and seeking help is an act of strength, not weakness. Through Christ, there is hope for healing and redemption.

My Story: Surviving Emotional Abuse

In my first marriage, I endured many years of mental putdowns, words and actions that chipped away at my confidence and worth. I was made to feel like the “wrong” one, even when I wasn’t. This emotional abuse led me to alcohol as an escape, avoiding home to numb the pain. In Scotland, where pubs are part of the culture, this was an easy trap to fall into. But God, in His faithfulness, pulled me out. 1 Corinthians 10:13 promises, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” Through prayer, time, and God’s grace, I’ve been free from alcohol for years, and I now avoid anything associated with it.

The hardest part was losing my two children to parental alienation. My ex-wife turned them against me, and they even changed their surnames. The pain of being misrepresented and cut off is indescribable, but I trust God’s promise in Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I pray daily for reconciliation, believing in God’s power to restore, like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).

Emotional Abuse: A Hidden Struggle for Men

In Scotland, domestic abuse isn’t just physical; it includes emotional and psychological harm, as recognised by the Domestic Abuse (Scotland) Act 2018. Men can be victims too, facing belittling, gaslighting, or control from a spouse. Yet, many of us stay silent, fearing stigma or disbelief. I know that shame, I felt it decades ago when support for male survivors was scarce. But Romans 6:6-7 reminds us, “Our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with… anyone who has died has been set free from sin.” In Christ, we’re free to seek help and reclaim our God-given dignity.

Seeking Help as Strength

For years, I wished I’d known that seeking help is a sign of strength. Society often tells men to “tough it out,” but the Bible calls us to lean on God and others. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says God comforts us so we can comfort others. In Scotland, resources like Abused Men in Scotland (AMIS) (0808 800 0024) offer confidential support for men facing abuse. Families Need Fathers Scotland (0131 557 2440) helps with alienation, and Christian counselling can bring healing through faith. As a Bible teacher, I’ve learned that vulnerability before God and others opens the door to His healing (James 5:16).

A Call to Men in the Church

To my brothers in Christ: if you’re suffering in silence, know that God sees you. Psalm 82:3-4 is a call to defend the afflicted, including ourselves. You don’t have to stay in an abusive situation, and your past doesn’t define you. My journey from abuse and addiction to teaching God’s Word shows that God redeems broken stories. As I pursue pastoral ministry, I pray to help others find freedom in Christ. If you’re hurting, reach out to a pastor, counsellor, or trusted friend. Let us break the silence together.

Conclusion

My story is not over, and neither is yours. Whether you are facing emotional abuse, alienation, or past struggles like addiction, God is faithful to help, Isaiah 61:1-3 promises beauty for ashes, and I am living proof.

Through bornagainchristians.org and .tv, I want to support men in Scotland and beyond, pointing them to Christ’s healing and practical help.

If you’re ready to take a step, contact AMIS or your local church. God is near, and He has given us each other to walk this road together.