As a Christian, I’ve walked a road that many of you may relate to. Years ago, I found myself “living in sin”, cohabiting with a partner outside of marriage, a phrase we in Scotland know well. I justified it, leaning on liberal Bible teachers who softened God’s Word to fit my choices. I understand the struggles and the guilt that come with this situation, and I want to share my journey with you.
But the Holy Spirit’s conviction led me back to Scripture, revealing God’s design for relationships and His grace to make things right. Today, I hear your heart, someone burdened reading this by living together unmarried, feeling stuck due to financial constraints, yet longing for “more knowledge of God.”
Let me share what I’ve learned from God’s Word, I am not going to use my words but what the Bible says, giving you the Hebrew and Greek as well as the Strong’s numbers to look up for yourself. This is with the hope of guiding you toward freedom, obedience, and a deeper walk with Jesus, empowering you to seek God’s truth.
The Burden of Sin: God’s Call to Know Him More
Feeling convicted about living together without marriage is a sign that God is at work in your heart. The Greek word for “convict” in John 16:8, elegchō (Strong’s G1651), means to bring to light or reprove, showing us where we’ve strayed so we can return to God. This isn’t condemnation, it’s His love drawing you closer. As Romans 8:1 (NKJV) declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” The word “condemnation” (katakrima, Strong’s G2631) points to a final judgment, which Christ’s sacrifice has removed for believers. Your burden is an invitation to confess and find freedom.
When I justified cohabitation, I leaned on teachers who twisted Scripture to ease my conscience. But 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NKJV) warns, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires… they will turn their ears away from the truth.” The Greek for “sound doctrine” (hygiainō didaskalia, Strong’s G5198, G1322) means healthy, uncorrupted teaching. God’s Word, not human ideas, is our guide. If you’re feeling convicted, take heart, 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) promises, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The word “cleanse” (katharizō, Strong’s G2511) means to purify completely. God’s grace is ready to wash you clean and draw you into deeper knowledge of Him.
God’s Design for Marriage
In Scotland, “living in sin” often means cohabiting without marriage, and God’s Word speaks clearly to this. Genesis 2:24 (NKJV) says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The Hebrew word for “joined” (translated as dabaq in Hebrew, akin to the Greek proskollaō in the Septuagint, Strong’s G4347) means to cling or be glued together, signifying a permanent, covenantal bond. Marriage is God’s design for romantic relationships, reflecting His faithful love and bringing you joy and fulfillment.
Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV) adds, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” The Greek for “fornicators” (pornos, Strong’s G4205) includes sexual sin outside marriage, like cohabitation. This isn’t to shame you but to show God’s better way, a way of love, commitment, and respect. When I lived with my partner, I felt the weight of this truth but also discovered His grace to align my life with His will. You can too.
The Trap of False Teachings
Like many, I once followed liberal Bible teachers who said cohabitation was fine, claiming cultural norms trumped Scripture. But 2 Timothy 3:16 (NKJV) reminds us, “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” The Greek for “inspiration of God” (theopneustos, Strong’s G2315) means God-breathed, affirming Scripture’s authority over human opinions. Psalm 119:105 (NKJV) says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” The word “lamp” (nēr in Hebrew, akin to Greek lychnos, Strong’s G3088) symbolizes clear guidance.
When I returned to God’s Word, it illuminated my sin and showed me the path to freedom. If you’ve followed teachings that justify cohabitation, repent and let Scripture lead you back to God’s truth.
A Practical Step: Marriage at a Registry Office
You may feel trapped, unable to afford moving out to escape the sin of cohabitation. I’ve been there, and God provided a way. In Scotland, a registry office marriage is an affordable, biblical solution. A marriage notice costs about £45 per person, and a civil ceremony is around £55 (based on standard Scottish registry fees). This simple step honours God without breaking the bank. Matthew 19:6 (NKJV) says, “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” The Greek for “joined together” (syzeugnōmi, Strong’s G4801) means yoked as one, a beautiful picture of God’s design.
When I faced this choice, I prayed with my partner and sought counsel from our pastor friend. If you’re committed to your partner, talk openly, pray together, and consider a registry office marriage. It’s not about a fancy wedding, it’s about honouring God. As Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” The Greek for “seek” (zēteō, Strong’s G2212) implies earnest pursuit. Put God first, and He’ll guide your steps.
Financial Barriers and God’s Provision
If moving out feels impossible due to financial constraints, trust in God’s faithfulness. Philippians 4:19 (NKJV) assures, “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” The Greek for “supply” (plēroō, Strong’s G4137) means to fill to the full, promising God’s abundant provision. When I felt stuck, I leaned on my Pastor friend Kevin for prayer and practical help.
In Scotland, organisations like Christians Against Poverty (CAP) offer free financial advice, and your local fellowship can provide accountability or connect you with resources.
If marriage isn’t immediate, set boundaries, like separate sleeping arrangements, to honour God while you wait. 1 Thessalonians 4:4 (NKJV) says, “That each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor.” The word “honor” (timē, Strong’s G5092) calls us to live with dignity before God.
Growing in Knowledge of God
Your desire for “more knowledge of God” is the heart of the Christian life. Colossians 1:10 (NKJV) prays that you “walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” The Greek for “knowledge” (epignōsis, Strong’s G1922) means a deep, experiential understanding. This comes through:
- Daily Scripture: Start with reading John’s Gospel, listen or watch our sermons HERE; Psalm 119. The Word reveals God’s heart.
- Prayer: Ask and seek the Holy Spirit to guide you, as John 16:13 promises.
- Fellowship: Join a Bible study at your church or find a Bible teaching church for support and accountability, contact me for a Glasgow based Church.
When I turned from liberal teachings, I found freedom in studying Scripture, following verse by verse, this was a practice I learned from Calvary Chapel. It transformed my understanding and drew me closer to Jesus.
Hope in Christ’s Grace
My journey through cohabitation was not the end of my story, and yours isn’t either. Lamentations 3:22-23 (NKJV) says, “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” The Hebrew for “mercies” (chesed, akin to Greek eleos, Strong’s G1656) speaks of God’s steadfast love.
Whether you pursue marriage, set boundaries, or seek financial help, it is important to take that one step toward God. He definitely is not done with you; He’s calling you to know Him more deeply.
A Friendly Invitation to Join Us:
If you are facing challenges with cohabitation or looking for God’s guidance, feel free to contact us at bornagainchristians.org, join our community at bornagainchristians.faith. We would be happy to pray with you, provide some counsel, or connect you with resources like a local registry office or Christians Against Poverty (CAP) Scotland.
Let’s walk this journey together.